I want Judy Blume to adopt me

Man, I need to pick up a copy of "Forever" and re-read it again.

The fact that her "banned" books (written in the 70s) still resonate with young girls even today is awesome. Kudos to Judy Blume for sticking it to the man.

Top Hat on Top Chef Contestant...

Chef hats have always made me giggle. And how could they not? But Top Chef: Chicago contestant Spike takes it to a whole other level. He seems to sport a different kind of (equally bad) hat in every episode. At first, I thought he was desperately trying to be all cool and suave, or trying to hide a bald spot, by rocking a fedora titled ever-so-carefully to the side.

But on tonight's episode, I realized he was just a hat-wearing tool. During his interviews he wore this atrocious basket-weaved, blue-trimmed baseball hat. I guess its his way of sticking out amongst the other contestants but ugh, all I could think about was Ricky Lizalde from Project Runway Season 4 with all those god-awful hats that never left his head. Yeah, we all remember that he cried at the drop of a dime, but how could we forget his mesh-covered, dominatrix hats?! Ricky even had the nerve to create a whole line of these hats for his "Sew Not Over" (Bravo challenge) collection.

Dear future Bravo show contestants, nix the hats, you'll just end up looking silly.

Twista pulling a fast one on me?

So, rapper Twista held the Guiness World Record for being the fastest rapper in 1992, but he never quite impressed me. I didn't even know he was still recording, but apparently he has an album, "Mobstability II: Nation Business, dropping this year. But I heard the first single "Give it up" (featuring Pharrell) and I might have to eat my words. OK, I'm a little late (it was released last summer) but damn, it's so catchy that it deserves a mention.

Pharrell not only sings the hook but also produced it, so naturally it's tasty ear-candy. But beyond that, it features an arrangement of percussions ranging from bongos to cowbells (I repeat, cowbells! "Gotta have more cowbell!"), creating a instant dance hit (even though it only peaked at 88 on the Billboard charts).

Still, the video is worth watching, too.


I'll even forgive its blatant objectification of woman as yummy food because Pharrell gets a lot of camera time, and I don't mind objectifying him.

Squeezing it for all it's worth.

I like most anything that is lemon/lime-flavored. Just add a splash of either citrus fruit, and whatever you're eating/drinking is that much better. Take for instance a bottle of Corona beer. Despite it being Mexico's unofficial beer, (and by default I should have a loyalty to it) I hated it. But I think I felt this way because I forgot to slip in the requisite lime slice in my first bottle. I didn't think it would make a difference, but, oh, was I wrong. A Corona without a lime is like Project Runway without Bravo (oops, I guess it's little too late for that), it just doesn't work.

Anyway, just because it works for Corona, I doubt it has the same magic for other beers. But Bud Light seems to think so. They're releasing a lime-infused Bud Light next month and I just saw the commercial for it. Normally, their commercials don't phase me but it grabbed my attention when I heard the song in the background, and it was none other than Santogold's "Creator."

Surprisingly, the commercial is no where to be found on the Web but I know what I heard. It was just like the time I heard M.I.A.'s "Galang" as the backdrop music for the Honda Civic SI back in 2006.


Oh yes, it seems to me that Santogold is definitely taking career advice from M.I.A. If this continues Santogold will be the newest "it" girl in the indie/electro/nu-wave world faster than you can stomach that Bud Light Lime.

Fashion Faux-Heel

I guess you could call me a girly-girl. I like makeup, clothes, and most anything pink. But, before you gag at my confession, my girly-ness comes to a screeching halt when it concerns high heels. I wish I could wear heels nonchalantly, but every step I take in any shoes with a heel higher than 2.5 inches is just unbearable (I have nearly flat feet).

Anyway, somebody once told me that designer shoes are supposed to be more comfortable because they're better quality. But since I don't have $400-plus to shell out on a pair of Louboutin's, I can't actually test this theory. Still, Carrie Bradshaw (pardon my outdated Sex and the City reference) wore Manolo Blahnik four-inched heels everywhere in New York City, so, it just has to true, no?

But something tells me that there's no way that these $32,000 pair of five-and-half inched heels (pictured below), designed by Briton Antonio Berdai, are anything but painful. I don't even know how you could even walk in them, but celebrities like Victoria Beckham and Gwyneth Paltrow own a pair and plan to make it work.

And these aren't the only pair of ridiculous heels I've seen on the catwalk, either. Remember Marc Jacobs' "backward" heel (from his Fall 2007 show) that had people scratching their heads in confusion? I didn't think I would see them off the runway but then actress Sophia Bush proved me wrong:

OK, maybe I shouldn't completely discount heels. After all, this study that claims heels increase your sex drive. I guess beauty doesn't always equal pain.

The Hills are Alive with Idiocy

Last night on MTV's "The Hills," we were all expecting another throw-down when, gasp, Stephanie Pratt walked into Lauren Conrad's "computer class." Stephanie pushed her "loyalty" to brother, Spencer, and ex-fiancee, Heidi Montag, aside and made nice with her rival-by-association, Lauren. All it took was a simple "sorry" for Lauren and Stephanie to become BFFs (Stephanie even shows up to Lauren's birthday party next week).

Now, I agree it's petty and childish for you to hate someone just because x,y, and z hates them, but something tells me that Lauren just made a deal with the devil.

Read the rest of this post over here at BlogColony!

The musical, Avenue Q said it the best: "The Internet is for porn!"

Judy Blume is a one dirty, old lady. I loved her books as a kid, and it wasn't because they were particularly well-written, but because the characters always seemed to "explore" their sexuality by the end of the book. I remember carefully reading, and re-reading, the chapter in "Forever" (one of ALA's 100 banned books) when Katherine and Michael finally "made love."

As a kid in elementary school this was as graphic as porn could get for me, and it was great. I've never been into porn movies/videos (unless they're hilarious like "Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle." Go watch it, so that we can compare notes!), so sites like X-Tube and Red-Tube don't really appeal to me. I like to use my imagination.

So, when I discovered Literotica a few years ago, I thought I could re-live my Judy Blume days, but to my disappointment all of the "stories" are poorly-written, and usually suck (no pun intended). I thought the Internet had failed me... until now.

I was reading Jezebel (I swear I'm not that much of a Gawker Media whore) when I learned about Slut Machine, the alter-ego, I suppose, of writer Tracie Egan. While she does fine work at her day job writing posts for Jezebel, she shines on her side project "One D at a Time," where she makes no apologies about her sexual prowess. Most posts are about her trial and tribulations in the bedroom (though locations are subject to change). And what I think makes her site different from the oversaturation of similar sites is her ability to actually write well, but still remain insanely hilarious.

Another blog worth a double-click is College Callgirl. I have yet to learn the identity of the woman behind this blog but I guess that doesn't really matter. "Cofessions of College Callgirl" chronicles her career as a lady of the night. She recently wrote that she was going to deviate from just writing about sex, but just check out her back entries and you'll be hooked.

Finally, there's Baby Sinead. Baby Sinead is really Sinead McCarthy, a under-aged aspiring pornstar/photographer, with a juxtaposing fresh-faced innocence. Her revealing, stream-of-conscious blog often include NSFW pictures, so you probably shouldn't check it out if you're at work or the library. I mean it wouldn't be good if it wasn't a little forbidden, am I right?