Educated Guesses, Not Just for Pregnancy Tests Anymore

Maxim's David Peisner gave the Black Crowes' upcoming album, "Warpaint," a bad review. He went on to give it a rating of two-and-a-half out of five stars (read the actual review here).

That's all fine and dandy, that's what reviewers are supposed to do: praise the good, and condemn the bad. Just one little problem: Peisner couldn't have possibly listened to the album because the Crowes' record label never made copies available for reviews!

When the Crowe's manager called out Maxim for this error, Maxim stood by their review and called it "an educated guess preview."

Now, the Crowes have a right to be livid because the album was unfairly judged and it may be the best thing they've produced since their genius multi-platinum debut, "Shake Your Money Maker" back in 1990. In fact, Rolling Stone gave "Warpaint" four-and-a-half stars out of five (which I'm sure writer, Alan Light, actually listened to.)

But let's be honest, had it not been for this whole fiasco, many wouldn't even know that the Crowes are still recording. Today, Chris Robinson is mainly recognized as actress Kate Hudson's ex-husband than the lead singer of one of the best bands of the '90s. So, as the saying goes, all press is good press, right?

Not exactly, while the publicity surrounding Maxim's review might actually generate sales for "Warpaint," it will probably hurt Maxim's journalistic integrity.

All right, fair enough, Maxim isn't exactly the beacon of prize-winning journalism, but this still affects the public's perception of journalism.

In fact, this isn't the first time Maxim has done this "educated guess preview" review. Rapper, Nas, has come forward with his claim that Maxim prematurely reviewed his album, "N***er," (which drops April 22, 2008) also giving it a dismal two-and-a-half stars out of five.

Though Nas has brushed it off, saying he'd prefer a review from Playboy, I don't think readers will react so nonchalantly.

Readers still trust journalists to inform them but with slip-ups like this, journalists are losing all of their credibility, which is detrimental to an already flailing medium.

Maxim's editorial director, James Kaminsky, has since apologized to Nas (the Crowes are still waiting), but it seems to me that it's too little, too late.

Teyana Taylor voguing, coincidence?

Teyana Taylor, best known for her stint on MTV's My Super Sweet 16, made an appearance on TRL to promote her new music video, "Google Me" (she's Pharrell's protege and her album, "A Planet Called Harlem" drops this spring.)

During the interview, she revealed that she was trying to bring voguing back, which was popular in 1993 after Madonna released her single, "Vogue." Teyana then demonstrated "voguing," and ended with a "suicide" dip (where she falls to the floor on her back with her legs in a half-split.) Shwam!

Voguing has been around for quite some time now, even before Madonna introduced it to middle-America back in the 20th century. It's huge in the gay community, to the point where there are actual competitions against different "houses." It's a really intricate sub-culture with a lot of history, and I think it's kind of offensive for this kid (Teyana) to take it upon herself to try to "bring it back."

But what's even more interesting is the rumor surrounding Teyana's own sexuality. Gee willikers, Teyana, this explains how you executed an almost perfect dip! You nearly got a "10, 10, 10" from me.

But when MTV VJ Damian asked her if she was currently dating anyone, she said she was only interested in dating her skateboard. Hmmm, still very suspicious.

Just don't eat it when you're riding on the carpet, if you catch my drift, miss thing.

The French and the Devil

I usually dislike most award shows. Still, I was one of the 32 million people (the lowest-rated since 1990) to watch the Oscar's last night.

What can I say? I was completely drugged up on cough syrup and needed to watch something that would be the visual equivalent of a lullaby.

But, somehow, I managed to stay awake through the four-hour telecast and caught a couple of note-worthy moments:

1) Marion Cotillard: The French-actress won the Best Actress award for her portrayal of French singer, Edith Piaf in the biopic, La Vie En Rose. She looked completely shocked and gave the most endearing acceptance speech in her broken English.

I have never seen the movie (or most movies nominated for that matter) so I can't really say if I think she "deserved" the award. But, I always root for the underdog. Plus, I love when people are genuinely grateful/shocked/honored when they win awards (think Amy Winehouse at this year's Grammy's); it just tugs at my heart strings.

Anyway, check out Marion's acceptance speech and allow yourself to fall in love with her, too:

oscars 2008 - marion cotillard meilleure actrice
Uploaded by SnipSnik-Production

Also, she looked absolutely stunning in her Gaultier gown!



2) Diablo Cody: The former, "unlikely" stripper won in the Best Original Screenplay category for her indie runaway-hit, Juno.

I wasn't a big fan of her outfit: a leopard-print Dior number and gold flats she wore in lieu of the million dollar heels Stuart Weitzman designed especially for her. The dress was just a shapeless sack and the shoes gave her cankles.

But, she's Diablo, and I'll forgive her because she just seems so damn cool anyway.

Also, I love that she didn't even try to hide the pin-up girl tattoo on her arm. She's unapologetic and has such a devil-may-care (pun intended) attitude that I envy.

Seriously, I want to be her, or at least be her BFF.

How many freckles can you count?

It's a bit ironic that New York's Spring Fashion issue features actress Lindsay Lohan wearing nothing more than a few strategically placed cloth-flowers and transparent scarves over her naked body.

But, I guess it isn't so ironic that "bad girl" Lohan was handpicked by photographer Bert Stern to re-create ever-so infamous Marilyn Monroe's last photoshoot (check out one of the original photos of Marilyn, below.)

And the similarities don't end there. The article (written by Amanda Fortini) suggests other eerie things the two artificial-blonds share:
"Forty-six years later, Stern has revisited his classic shots with Lindsay Lohan, another actress whose prodigious fame is not quite commensurate with her professional achievements... Without putting too fine a point on it, you might say Lohan has, like Monroe, a knack for courting the tabloids and tripping up her career."

Lindsay gushes about her obsession with Marilyn Monroe throughout the article and says it was important, "to bring [the book "The Complete Last Sitting" that featured Monroe's entire photoshoot] back to life.”

Back to life, eh? Hey, Lindsay, Marilyn Monroe died six weeks after this shoot... I'm just saying; anybody want to start a pool?

P.S. Click to see Lindsay's (NSFW) shoot.

Wash your mouth out

I cannot wait to be an old lady. I'm not looking forward to having my tits graze my knees or anything else that's inevitable with old age, but what I am looking forward to is being able to say and do whatever the hell I please. No apologies.

Seriously, anything you say as an older person is fair game because people are A) too scared to say anything to you because you remind them of their grandma, B) you're a cute old lady and anything you say sounds sweet and endearing, C) you're Dr. Ruth, or anybody from the Golden Girls.

This week, Jane Fonda -- a political activist, actress, and 80s fitness guru -- appeared on the the Today show to promote, "The Vagina Monologues " and said the word "cunt." Granted it was the name of a monologue but, you know what, it was still awesome. People went crazy about it because oh, my god, "cunt" is, like, such a dirty word. But kudos to her! Why are we still so afraid of some words? That's one thing I miss about living in Europe. It was just so liberating to not be confined by all of the regulations we have for American television. Anyway, watch Jane get the FCC's panties all up in a bunch with the following clip:


Some time ago Diane I-wear-gloves-to-every-red-carpet Keaton uttered "fucking" on Good Morning America when she was promoting that god-awful movie, Mad Money. Oops? But, like Fonda, she almost had a free pass because she's Diane Keaton! She's been around the block for some 30-odd years and, though it might raise some eyebrows, messing up like this isn't exactly career-suicide for her. Had it been a young starlet, her publicist would have to work on overdrive to remedy such a slip-up.


So, the lesson we learn here is that, when you reach that age, you really can say whatever you want, and it doesn't matter, because you only have a few years left anyway!

Thank god for live TV. C U Next Tuesday middle America!

Sew Done

Tonight's episode of Bravo's Project Runway will result in the *gasp* final three designers who get to show their collection at New York's Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in Bryant Park. Except, well, as we already know, all five designers actually got to "show" at The Tents. Yeah, yeah, this is a tactic the producers use to maintain secrecy around the final three but by allowing the five designers to show, they've only managed to cheapen one of the show's high-points.

OK, so the show has been going down a "cheap," or rather tacky, path this entire season (prom dresses, ick; WWE Divas, double ick.) Yeah, even though Tim Gunn proclaimed that this was the most talented cast to date, it was also the most boring. Honestly, I cannot remember the names of half of the cast. So, Carmen Webber (Carmen like the opera, Webber like the baller) is still ingrained in my mind (damn you, you giant tranny!) but most everyone else who got auf'd in the beginning of the season never seemed to register in my brain.

And you could just see the producers of the show trying so hard to stir up some drama with their incessant "group" challenges. You would think there would be an all out war at least once! But no.

Now, the boys over at Project Rungay theorize that it may be because most of the designers were pretty established in the industry already. They had reputations to protect and nobody wants to be remembered as the villain of the show. Yeah, that makes some sense, but honestly, I rather see raw-talent and quick-tongues than watch demure kittens playing with yarn. It's boring, and it's reality-show suicide.

So, Bravo, take Tim's advice for next season, and for the love of fashion, make it work!
SPOILER ALERT.

Here are my favorite looks from each designer in the following order (going down):

Jillian Lewis, Sweet P Vaughn, Christian Siriano, Rami Kashou, Chris March

Celebuspawns

Rumor has it that Frances Bean Cobain, daughter of late-great Kurt Cobain and the sometimes rock-star/actress (but always erratic) Courtney Love, will be the new face for Chanel in 2008. She will also be featured in a fashion spread for Harper's Bazaar this March.

Despite having such (in)famous parents, 15- year-old Frances Bean has lead a pretty low-key life. She seems really sweet and modest, too.

"These people are fascinated by me, but I haven't done anything," she says. "If you're a big Nirvana fan, a big Hole fan, then I understand why you would want to get to know me, but I'm not my parents... People need to wait until I've done something valid with my life."

I predict that we will be hearing more about her in the upcoming years.



Here are some other celebrity offspring worth taking note of:

Zoe Kravitz: The 19-year-old daughter of "The Cosby Show" alum, Lisa Bonet, and bonafide DILF, rocker Lenny Kravitz is taking her chances as an actress. She had small roles in two film in 2007 ("The Brave One" and "No Reservations") and is slated to appear in two more films this year. The spitting image of her gorgeous mom, Lisa Bonet, Zoe has dabbled in modeling, too. She is currently dating "3:10 to Yuma" star, Ben Foster who is eight years her senior. Though she is enrolled at SUNY Purchase, something tells me she might forgo college and strike while the iron is hot.


Rumer Willis: Rumer, 19, is actors, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore eldest daughter, and plans on following her parent's footsteps with her own career in acting. She was slated to be the Miss Golden Globe (the girl who hands the award to the winner) this year but lost the opportunity when the award show was canceled. Still, her career doesn't appear to be stalling -- she is starring two upcoming films, "From Within" and "I Know What Boys Like," and is a red-carpet staple. Yet, her career seems to be eclipsed by constant fodder in the blogsphere about her, um, unique looks. Regardless, it doesn't seem like Rumer is going anywhere anytime soon.


Evan Ross: Evan is singing legend and overall diva, Diana Ross's son. Unlike his famous mama (sorry, Diana, "The Wiz" was a joke), Evan is trying his luck in acting, and 2008 looks like it is going to be his year. He is starring in SIX films this year. I would keep your eyes and ears opened for him.

Heatherette back on the map?

Last night's episode of Bravo's Project Runway featured guest judges Richie Rich and Traver Rains -- better known as flamboyant-design duo, Heatherette. A couple of weeks ago the pair also showed up to lend their designs for a catwalk challenge on Bravo's Make Me a Supermodel. Honestly, I had almost forgotten they existed, which is kind of weird considering my withstanding love/hate relationship with the fashion house.

In 1999, tongues started wagging in the fashion world about Heatherette's in-your-face-Barbie-fantasy-world-meets-Lisa Frank's-wet-dream clothing line, and I fell in love.

I also fell hard for the designers: there was Richie Rich who looks like Amanda Lepore as a drag-king and Traver Rains who totally milks the whole "Save a horse, ride a cowboy" schtick. I just love when designers look fun themselves (think Galliano, Jeremy Scott, etc.)!

Anyway, I wanted to own anything, ANYTHING that Heatherette put their crazy stamp on. But, while I'm still drawn to most anything pink, I got Heatherette out of my system around the same time I washed my temporary pink hair-dye out. And it all seemed to come to a screeching halt when I saw a Heatherette shirt emblazoned with a unicorn at a Burlington Coat Factory in. upstate. New. York.

And it seemed like their star was fading around the same time, too. Still, while I'm not a Heatherette fan-girl anymore, I'm glad that they're still around, having fun, retaining that magic that made them special in the first place. Check out Kim Kardashian, Jenna Jameson and, but of course, Amanda Lepore walking their spring 2008 Ready to Wear show. Guess they still have enough juice to pull in the celebrity cameos!


While that's all fine and dandy, I was most excited to learn that Heatherette is collaborating with M.A.C. for a limited-edition collection out March 27! (Check the promo picture on the left. So much pink, yum!) Maybe I didn't get Heatherette entirely out of my system? Thank you, Bravo.

P.S. I can't lie, when I saw Richie Rich on 34th street one summer day, I totally squealed. But like a true New Yorker, I acted aloof.

I believe in Santogold

When both Rolling Stone and Spin magazine listed Santogold as one of their top artists to watch in 2008, I just had to check her out. And, boy, did they get it right this time!

When Philadephia-bred Santi White's gig as punk/ska band Stiffed's singer went kaput after releasing just two albums, she moved onto a solo project -- this time, as Santogold.

Even before releasing her first single ("Creator") last month, Santogold had some high-profile fans -- Icelandic pop star Bjork even hand-picked her to open up her Madison Square Garden show last Sept. She also toured on Sri Lankan-native M.I.A.'s British tour, who just happens to be her friend and fellow Brooklyn-transplant.Which is interesting enough, considering many are likening Santogold's music to M.I.A. And, while the similarities are there -- they both collaborated with producers DJ Diplo (with M.I.A. in more ways than one) and Switch -- Santogold still holds her own ground.

Her sound blends her rhymes over reggae, ska, and electro to create some truly catchy gems.

Santogold will drop her debut album later this year. Until then, this should hold you over:




Ya, dig?

Celebrity Rehab

Going to rehab is a rite of passage in Hollywood. Nicole, Lindsay, Britney have all made trips to rehab for one reason or another (alcoholism, drugs, etc.) at one point in their careers. And while we all predicted that would happen eventually to these notorious party-girls, I was shocked to learn actress Eva Mendes (We Own the Night, Ghost Rider) checked into rehab.

Totally didn't see that one coming.

According to USmagazine.com, Eva is getting treatment for her substance abuse in cushy, "exclusive" rehabilitation facility, Cirque Lodge in Sundance, Utah (the same place Lindsay Lohan and Mary-Kate Olson completed treatment programs.)

So what exactly goes on at these rehab centers?
Do they even work? Hey Lindsay, how 'bout it?

Well, I was genuinely interested in seeing how this whole thing went down, so when Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew premiered on Vh1's Celebreality line-up earlier this year I made sure I watched.

Just one minor problem, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew turned out to be the most depressing show in the entire world.

The first episode introduces us to the celebrity patients. And the "biggest" star is Daniel Baldwin but honestly, I can't recall this Baldwin brother starring in anything worth noting, sry2say. Two of the other "stars" were former contestants on other Vh1 shows (re: Chyna and Brigitte Nielson.) The other patients are so Z-list, they're not even worth mentioning.

Oh wait, there were two that definitely took me on a trip down memory lane:
Shifty from Crazytown ("'Come my lady, come, come my lady,' and share my crack pipe") and Jamiee Foxworth (Judy Winslow loves ganga, and dabbles in porn), sadly brought me back to my childhood.










Anyway, I don't know what I was expecting, but I sure wasn't prepared to see Grease's bad-ass Kenickie (Jeff Conaway) reduced to a wheelchair or, worse yet, convulsing while trying to detox.



I get it -- it's rehab; it's not supposed to be all rainbows and sugarplums. But it just got a little too service-y for me, and that's way out of left field for the Celebreality genre.

These are the people who are responsible for shows like "Rock of Love," "Flavor of Love," and "I Love New York," where bad behavior is definitely encouraged. And (guess what?) copious amounts of liquor and an open bar are always, always present in the hopes people will drink one too many. The producers know that the show is only going to be that much more entertaining.

Think back to Rock of Love's first season's "Don't threaten me with a good time! "Tiffany (pictured right.) She was drunk out of her mind on the few episodes she did appear on and she was reality TV gold!

But of course, liquor, nor any other vice, is not on Celebrity Rehab's menu. Subsequently, there's no real bad behavior (unless you count Kenickie's fights with his girlfriend Vicki who looks a lot like Anna Nicole's Hillbilly cousin, Shelly. y/n?)

And the show ends up being a little too kumbaya for the Vh1 audience (re: me.)

So, in theory, Celebrity Rehab should work. It has "star" power and it has built-in drama, but it doesn't. It's actually boring and it just fails.

Though, on the plus side, Dr. Drew is the poor-man's version of CNN's delectable anchor, Anderson Cooper, and that might be reason enough to watch the show for a few more episodes.yes, please!