The musical, Avenue Q said it the best: "The Internet is for porn!"

Judy Blume is a one dirty, old lady. I loved her books as a kid, and it wasn't because they were particularly well-written, but because the characters always seemed to "explore" their sexuality by the end of the book. I remember carefully reading, and re-reading, the chapter in "Forever" (one of ALA's 100 banned books) when Katherine and Michael finally "made love."

As a kid in elementary school this was as graphic as porn could get for me, and it was great. I've never been into porn movies/videos (unless they're hilarious like "Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle." Go watch it, so that we can compare notes!), so sites like X-Tube and Red-Tube don't really appeal to me. I like to use my imagination.

So, when I discovered Literotica a few years ago, I thought I could re-live my Judy Blume days, but to my disappointment all of the "stories" are poorly-written, and usually suck (no pun intended). I thought the Internet had failed me... until now.

I was reading Jezebel (I swear I'm not that much of a Gawker Media whore) when I learned about Slut Machine, the alter-ego, I suppose, of writer Tracie Egan. While she does fine work at her day job writing posts for Jezebel, she shines on her side project "One D at a Time," where she makes no apologies about her sexual prowess. Most posts are about her trial and tribulations in the bedroom (though locations are subject to change). And what I think makes her site different from the oversaturation of similar sites is her ability to actually write well, but still remain insanely hilarious.

Another blog worth a double-click is College Callgirl. I have yet to learn the identity of the woman behind this blog but I guess that doesn't really matter. "Cofessions of College Callgirl" chronicles her career as a lady of the night. She recently wrote that she was going to deviate from just writing about sex, but just check out her back entries and you'll be hooked.

Finally, there's Baby Sinead. Baby Sinead is really Sinead McCarthy, a under-aged aspiring pornstar/photographer, with a juxtaposing fresh-faced innocence. Her revealing, stream-of-conscious blog often include NSFW pictures, so you probably shouldn't check it out if you're at work or the library. I mean it wouldn't be good if it wasn't a little forbidden, am I right?

Here's something sweet... but not really.

A friend told me recently that I've been kind of hateful in my recent posts. So, I thought I'd write about something that's inherently sweet, CANDY.

If you haven't been paying attention to the increasingly weird commercials for all the candy products out there (I think Skittles and Sour Patch Kids take the cake), Skittles are releasing a Chocolate Mix version of their delectable, little edible pieces of rainbows.

Now, these are not to be confused with their all chocolate version that were discontinued in 2001, the new Chocolate Mix includes flavors like s'mores and brownie batter. And I love chocolate but if I wanted hard-shelled chocolate candy, I would turn to the one and only, M&Ms, not Skittles!

OK, I haven't actually bought a pack of the new Skittles chocolate mix, so I can't really discuss if they're actually gross or not. Still, this whole thing led me to think of other bastardization of classic candies that I have actually tasted, and subsequently spit out.

Allow me to take you down memory lane:

1) Hershey's Cookies n Cream: This Dalmatian-spotted white-chocolate bar actually tastes like chalk. I think eating this weened me off white chocolate forever.

2) Twix's Peanut Butter: Substitute the caramel for peanut butter and you basically got a Reese's peanut butter, uh, stick?

3) Starburst's Berries & Creme Fruit Chews: I usually love any variation of Starburst but these taste like yogurt packed into a square. But every kid loves yogurt, right? Oh wait, they don't? Fail.

4) Reese's Peanut Butter & Banana Creme: Inspired by Elvis Presley's favorite snack (grilled peanut butter and banana sandwiches), I was actually pretty excited to try these. While I thought they were yummy, everyone else in my internship (including an editor who ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches EVERY DAY) thought they were gross. Different strokes for different folks?

5) Snickers Charged: OK, I never actually tasted this because it just sounds so gross. I realize chocolate contains some caffeine but I rather get my fix via liquid form.

OK, so this post wasn't exactly sweet, but I'm more of a sour girl anyway.

P.S. Dear Skittles, bring back Sour Skittles, please!

Half of what you say is meaningless... Juuuulia.

I read Gawker religiously. Every time I go online, I need a hit of Gawker. Yeah, it has gone downhill in the past year but I can't handle the withdrawal I go through when I don't read it for a few days.

Anyway, it was through Gawker that I learned about Julia Allison. Julia, who? I realize that if you don't check Gawker as compulsively as I do, you may not know about this woman with two first names.

OK, let's start from the beginning. First of all, her real name is Julia Baugher, and she's a Georgetown University alumna where she was the sex columnist for its newspaper, the Hoya. After graduating, she dropped the last name, packed up and moved to NYC where she became a columnist for the free newspaper, AMNY (yeah, I read it for the horoscope, too.) She was just another faceless, albeit very pretty faceless, writer in this jungle of a city when she was photographed with politician Harold Ford at some event.

Tongues started wagging, and Julia Allison has somehow managed to wrangle herself a plethora of job titles, including editor-at-large for Star magazine, weekly columnist at Time Out New York, talking-head for CNN, FoxNews, etc. Now, much to the dismay of most Gawker readers, Bravo (possibly NBC) is giving Julia Allison and two of her girlfriends (Megan Asha and Mary Rambin) their very own show. Cameras will follow the trio as they attempt to start an Internet company, and gallivant throughout NYC and beyond.

The whole thing is quite funny. In a thankless profession like journalism, writers are barely in the limelight -- always the bridesmaid, never the bride type of deal. But, it seems like Julia Allison is changing this one shameless self-promotion at a time. People have called her a real-life Carrie Bradshaw and while the two do share similarities, I think there's one big difference, Carrie(or rather the writers for Sex and the City) could actually write.

OK, so Julia Allison's easy on the eyes, there's no denying that, but something tells me it wasn't her hard-hitting journalism on dating for TONY or her thought-provoking comments about Britney Spears on FoxNews that got her to the top. Maybe I'm a little bitter (I did drink some haterade earlier today) but people like Julia Allison leave me a bit disillusioned about my impending future as a journalist.

I mean, kudos to her for leading such a charmed life and never having to pick up the tab, but her journalistic career is a load of crock. It disturbs me to even call her a "journalist," because what she is doing isn't even in the same realm as yellow journalism... oh wait, I guess that's what she is doing. Either way, I really hope Andy Warhol was right, and she's down to her last minute.

Magazines Sell Out. No, Not like That.

Radar magazine announced recently that Spencer Pratt, Lauren Conrad's arch nemesis on MTV's reality-drama The Hills, will write an advice column for the monthly entitled, "Yo Spencer!"

Starting next month, Pratt will dispense his profound wisdom about things like how to deal with girls who like threesomes and deodorant-challenged co-workers... serious issues, you know.

I mean this bro is definitely qualified to dispense advice; after all, he is a renaissance man. Over the last year not only did he manage to destroy friendships left and right, he also had time to manage ex-fiancee Heidi Montag's "singing" career, direct the disastrous music video for her first single "Higher," he's an aspiring rapper... aw, hell, there's no sugar-coating it, he's a walking punch-line.

OK, I get it, Radar isn't actually serious; they must be in on the joke... right?

I mean, despite folding and resurrecting a few times over the last ten years, Radar has some dignity left, no?

Anyway, I guess I'm less upset that Spencer continues to get undeserved publicity (hell, I don't help by watching The Hills religiously) as I am about the fact that he landed a job in the very industry that I am struggling to break into.

And he wasn't the first one on the hills to catch a "lucky" break in the magazine biz either. Who could forget Lauren Conrad's laughable interview with teenVogue's Lisa Love.

Here's how it went down:

Lisa Love: Can you write?

Lauren: Can I... Yeah...

Lisa Love: You can? Good?

Lauren: Well, I enjoy writing.

Granted she was interviewing for a fashion internship but really? REALLY?! That interview would never cut it.

Yup, it seems like four years of j-school means jack because you don't really need to know how to write to get your name on a masthead anymore. Forget a diploma and clips, nowadays all you need is a good audition tape to break into the print world.

Who could forget the SOAPnet's reality show, The Fashionista Diaries, where six contestants competed for jobs in the fashion/beauty industry -- two of which duked it out for a staff position at a woman's magazine (first Jane before it folded, and then, conveniently enough, COSMOgirl!).

By the end of the show, COSMOgirl! extended a position to contestant, Rachel Jacoby where she remains as a freelance assistant beauty editor. I can't really hate on Rachel, though, she's educated and, gasp, could actually write.

Still, for someone to treat your "dream job" as part of the prize on a reality/game show is to turn what was once a "respectable" career into a novelty item, and that... that's damn near insulting.

And it doesn't look like this trend will die anytime soon. Tyra Banks is collaborating with the CW network to create a reality show in which a group of "fashionistas" compete for a shot at becoming a assistant editor at a fashion magazine. The yet-to-be-named show is still casting and will begin production this spring.

Great, just what I needed come graduation time this May, more competition for an already depleting market. So... they're still casting, you say...