Wash your mouth out

I cannot wait to be an old lady. I'm not looking forward to having my tits graze my knees or anything else that's inevitable with old age, but what I am looking forward to is being able to say and do whatever the hell I please. No apologies.

Seriously, anything you say as an older person is fair game because people are A) too scared to say anything to you because you remind them of their grandma, B) you're a cute old lady and anything you say sounds sweet and endearing, C) you're Dr. Ruth, or anybody from the Golden Girls.

This week, Jane Fonda -- a political activist, actress, and 80s fitness guru -- appeared on the the Today show to promote, "The Vagina Monologues " and said the word "cunt." Granted it was the name of a monologue but, you know what, it was still awesome. People went crazy about it because oh, my god, "cunt" is, like, such a dirty word. But kudos to her! Why are we still so afraid of some words? That's one thing I miss about living in Europe. It was just so liberating to not be confined by all of the regulations we have for American television. Anyway, watch Jane get the FCC's panties all up in a bunch with the following clip:


Some time ago Diane I-wear-gloves-to-every-red-carpet Keaton uttered "fucking" on Good Morning America when she was promoting that god-awful movie, Mad Money. Oops? But, like Fonda, she almost had a free pass because she's Diane Keaton! She's been around the block for some 30-odd years and, though it might raise some eyebrows, messing up like this isn't exactly career-suicide for her. Had it been a young starlet, her publicist would have to work on overdrive to remedy such a slip-up.


So, the lesson we learn here is that, when you reach that age, you really can say whatever you want, and it doesn't matter, because you only have a few years left anyway!

Thank god for live TV. C U Next Tuesday middle America!